top
NEWS
Football Italia Website - Home
Italian Football Forum
BLOG
Football Italia Website - Blog Italia

FAQ Search Log in Join! (free)              


Post new topic   Reply to topic
.
   Football Italia Forum » Gwan bwoy, mek mi laff! Page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 9, 10, 11 
Author Message
Yockomo
Regular Poster
Posts: 278

MPC Championship Winner 2015
spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 17-11-15 16:46
Sorry if this old joke has already been posted.



My Grandad is still getting sex at 96! He only lives at 92 though, so it isn't far to go.

Lupo Pazzesco
Regular Poster
Posts: 4313

Serie A Betting Game Champion 2016 + Foro 2014 World Cup Predictions Champion
spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 22-11-15 11:06
   
_________________
AS Roma > Drugs & winning at all costs.

Dels
Game Administrator
Posts: 2631

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 26-11-15 02:48
I've read that joke a few times.

I don't get it. Do you have to be a man to get it?

Lupo Pazzesco
Regular Poster
Posts: 4313

Serie A Betting Game Champion 2016 + Foro 2014 World Cup Predictions Champion
spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 26-11-15 10:29
    That's as funny as the joke itself.
_________________
AS Roma > Drugs & winning at all costs.

Luftwaffles
Regular Poster
Posts: 1247
Juventus, Cruzeiro, Athletic Bilbao

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 08-03-16 12:17
A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the drivers door.

"Is there a problem, Officer?"

The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?"

The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."

"You don't have one?"

The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."

The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do that."

The policeman says, "Why not?"

"I stole this car."

The officer says, "Stole it?"

The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."

At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what?"

"She's in the boot if you want to see."

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.

The senior officer says, "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"

The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem, sir?"

"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."

"Murdered the owner?"

The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?"

The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"

The man says, "Yes" and hands over the registration papers.

The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."

The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"
_________________
Scudetto champions:

2011-2012 Juventus
2012-2013 Juventus
2013-2014 Juventus
2014-2015 Juventus
2015-2016 Juventus
2016-2017 Juventus

Coppa Italia Champions:

2015 Juventus
2016 Juventus
2017 Juventus

66 Trophies ........and counting

Lupo Pazzesco
Regular Poster
Posts: 4313

Serie A Betting Game Champion 2016 + Foro 2014 World Cup Predictions Champion
spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 08-03-16 19:01
     
_________________
AS Roma > Drugs & winning at all costs.

Alan
Fairly Regular Poster
Posts: 29

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 25-03-16 16:25
Sergio Aguero goes up to a woman in a night club and asks her back to his place... She replies "you're a little forward aren't you?"

Duncan!
Regular Poster
Posts: 3819
Italia, Roma

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 26-03-16 05:14

Alan
Fairly Regular Poster
Posts: 29

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 26-03-16 12:16
Duncan! wrote:


Never mind...

Lupo Pazzesco
Regular Poster
Posts: 4313

Serie A Betting Game Champion 2016 + Foro 2014 World Cup Predictions Champion
spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 06-04-16 17:43
R.I.P. Ronnie Corbett:

Kings Cross Station Announcer:
"Would the gentleman who has lost
a case of whisky come to the lost
property office, where the gentleman
who found it has been handed in."
_________________
AS Roma > Drugs & winning at all costs.

Luftwaffles
Regular Poster
Posts: 1247
Juventus, Cruzeiro, Athletic Bilbao

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 22-08-16 19:36
The best commentary gaffes from the Rio Olympics:-

Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators during the Olympics that they would like to take back:


1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . . . Oh my God, what have I just said?"
_________________
Scudetto champions:

2011-2012 Juventus
2012-2013 Juventus
2013-2014 Juventus
2014-2015 Juventus
2015-2016 Juventus
2016-2017 Juventus

Coppa Italia Champions:

2015 Juventus
2016 Juventus
2017 Juventus

66 Trophies ........and counting

Duncan!
Regular Poster
Posts: 3819
Italia, Roma

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 23-08-16 05:31
               

verno
Moderator
Posts: 765

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 24-08-16 15:55
What was Julian Dicks doing at the Olympics ?
_________________
Forza Milan

Duncan!
Regular Poster
Posts: 3819
Italia, Roma

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 25-08-16 05:24
considering the content, do we want to know?

Yockomo
Regular Poster
Posts: 278

MPC Championship Winner 2015
spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 29-09-16 12:51
Do you remember Canon & Ball? You may have heard it before.



I was driving down a country lane with my Wife at the weekend and the car ended up in a ditch after we swerved to avoid a deer in the road. Luckily a car was behind us and pulled over to help. I was amazed to see that the car contained the comedians Canon and Ball and their wives.

My Wife was unhurt and helped out of the car by the Canons. I wasn't so lucky though. I got pulled out by the Balls.

Luftwaffles
Regular Poster
Posts: 1247
Juventus, Cruzeiro, Athletic Bilbao

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 11-04-17 13:24
As Leicester City prepare to meet Atltico Madrid tomorrow amidst worsening relations with Spain over Gibraltar, here's a Leicester City cartoon from David Squires at The Guardian.

With apologies to Liam.

https://www.theguardian.com/footb...leicester-anglo-spanish-relations
_________________
Scudetto champions:

2011-2012 Juventus
2012-2013 Juventus
2013-2014 Juventus
2014-2015 Juventus
2015-2016 Juventus
2016-2017 Juventus

Coppa Italia Champions:

2015 Juventus
2016 Juventus
2017 Juventus

66 Trophies ........and counting

Liam
Game Administrator
Posts: 4722

2017 Treble Champion! MPC Championship, Serie A Betting Game and Champions League Predictions
spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 11-04-17 18:24
Luftwaffles wrote:
As Leicester City prepare to meet Atltico Madrid tomorrow amidst worsening relations with Spain over Gibraltar, here's a Leicester City cartoon from David Squires at The Guardian.

With apologies to Liam.

https://www.theguardian.com/footb...leicester-anglo-spanish-relations

No apologies necessary, I enjoy those cartoons and already posted a comment below it praising it!
_________________
Forza Juve!!!

Dels
Game Administrator
Posts: 2631

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 11-04-17 23:00
When I saw this resurrected I swear it was going to be a joke about Arsenal...

verno
Moderator
Posts: 765

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 13-04-17 13:28
Yes, something like 'Did you hear the one where Arsenal paid 35 million for Mustafi ?'

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha  
_________________
Forza Milan

Luftwaffles
Regular Poster
Posts: 1247
Juventus, Cruzeiro, Athletic Bilbao

spacer
Reply with quote View user's profile Send private message
Post 04-07-17 22:37
As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking".

"In that case", said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober".

.
   Football Italia Forum » Gwan bwoy, mek mi laff! Page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 9, 10, 11 
.
.
.
Post new topic   Reply to topic

Administrator: Myles        Moderators: Jay, Verno        Game Administrators: Dels, Liam        Banner created by nino



Powered by phpBB - Forum Software © phpBB Group
Theme Copyright © 2007-2015 Football Italia Forum
Hosting provided by myfastforum.org Copyright © 2011 Fast Forums for you